A New Word

I learned a new word the other day:

aphorism - a tersely phrased statement of a truth or an opinion
American Heritage Dictionary

I work for the library and a little book by Franz Kafka came across my desk called The Zurau Aphorisms. Because it was Kafka I opened it to find short statements on each page reflecting on some generality of life. I immediately recognized the structure and said to myself "This is what I do." Have I been writing aphorisms and not known it? I always called them quotes but this was a better, more intellectual sounding word. I wanted to mention it because I've decided to start using it in my vocabulary and here on this blog. If I quote some other source than I will call it a quote but anything I write I will call an aphorism. I'll give a couple of examples to give a clearer idea of what I mean and these two intertwine nicely as a succinct picture of my view of the people I must interact with on a daily basis.

"I believe in no gods and I have no loyalties beyond my family and kin."
David Ege, 2006

With this, I wanted to express my beliefs very clearly. The only people in the world that really matter to me are my family and extended family (I like to use the word kin because I like old-timey sayings). This is my Sacred Canopy. The only people that can have any impact on my worldview and life. I have no loyalties to gods, country, or industries that supersede my dedication to these individuals. I consider my family to be my own relatives and my wife's family as we are now united in blood through our children. My kin are all those friends I've had for over 15 years. If we've stayed close for that long it's like family to me. Some people I've met in recent years have reached this status in my mind because of friendships formed outside the convenience of school/workplace relationships. We usually share common interests and worldviews so I feel a deeper connection. Most people I meet are just acquaintances even though in their mind we may be the best of friends. Which leads to my second aphorism:

"I care more about the shit I took this morning than I do about you."
David Ege, 2006

I don't say this just to be rude and get a rise out of people (although I am amused at how offended people get). I usually whip this out when I'm so annoyed with talking with an asinine coworker that I can't stand it anymore. I try to explain that I'm just trying to make a point but they're too caught up in being compared to shit to listen. Most people mean so little to me that I know they will have no bearing on how I conduct my life. I don't care what they say, I don't care what they think. It just doesn't affect me. That shit I took does affect me, it might indicate health problems that will impact my life. I don't debate people. Why should I waste my breath trying to change anybody's mind? These people don't mean anything. Believe whatever you want, just don't push it on me. I respect your right to think however you want so please respect mine. That's why I always say if anyone doesn't want to hear what I have to say just tell me. I'm not trying to convince anyone of anything, I'm just compelled to express my thoughts so writing and sharing them helps me clarify my own understanding. People often think I'm their best friend because I'm really good at feigning interest in whatever they're into. Who am I to tell anyone what they should enjoy in this life? You love to bowl? I'll listen to your stories of technique and scores even though I don't understand them. You're really into model trains? Cool, I can rap about that too. I rarely, if ever, challenge people when they're spouting off unless it's to point out a fallacy in their argument in order to prod their critical thinking skills. Like in the case of the hardcore Republican I worked with who was going off on how Republicans have more integrity than Democrats because when Democrats do something wrong they try to hide it but a Republican steps right up and admits to the wrongdoing. "But if they have so much integrity why are they doing something wrong in the first place?" He was stunned into silence. I wasn't trying to argue with the guy I just wanted him to see he needed to think about what he was saying more critically.

I studied Greek and Roman literature in college and came across this wonderful life lesson from the surviving works of a Greek 'squirearch', a man of standing in his city:

"Pretend in speech to be the friend to everyone, but share with no one anything at all that matters, or you'll find those wretched characters cannot be trusted in the reckoning."
Theognis, c. Late 7th to middle 6th century B.C.E

The only people I tell important things to are my family and kin. People I truly love and feel may accept or offer a meaningful insight.