Alter Our Perceptions

I've read portions of the Carlos Castaneda books in which the author, an anthropologist, interviews the Yaqui shaman Don Juan Matus. Something that always stayed with me was Don Juan's description of perceiving reality. He talks about strings of light that extend everywhere throughout the universe and that we receive and filter these strings of information through a specific perception point within our psyche.

(Aside: I am using the word psyche, pronounced "su-ke" in Greek, not the modern day psyche, "si-kee." Psyche in ancient Greece meant "that which is not the body." The most common translations are soul or spirit but I reject these as they have come to carry so many Christian connotations. Psyche to me is best described in the Ancient Greek because I recognize that I am more than my physical body but I'm not a shell filled with a spirit/soul granted me by God. I know there is a component of myself that is "not the body.")

So, according to Don Juan, our reality is constructed by our interpretation of the information coming through our perception point. It is possible to shift this perception point to comprehend a "nonordinary reality." This is the goal of a shaman warrior, to increase awareness and focus our energy into a "second attention" that will allow access to other states of reality. But how do you shift the perception point? Don Juan introduced Castaneda to mind-altering chemicals, such as peyote and mushrooms, and the art of dreaming.

I was immediately intrigued. I've always had very strong dreams and was fascinated by the suggestion that I could control them. My early drug experimentation was all for the fun of having a good time with my friends so there was no hesitation when I was offered, I jumped at the chance. (Well, maybe not the first chance, but definitely the second.) I was willing to alter my perception of reality long before I heard of Carlos Castaneda or Don Juan. The best lesson I got from Don Juan was that drugs aren't necessary to alter perception, they're just the introduction to the fact that it's possible. Once you've opened your mind and cast off the limitations of our current reality, you're mind can access this state without aid. There were times when I was in such an altered state that my mind seemed to be running on its own, receiving thoughts from some place beyond this reality. I felt in tune with the universe and everything clicked. Like magic.

This feeling is often described as "being in the zone," when everything happens just as it's supposed to with what feels like little effort. I recognized this feeling from my pre-drug youth when my addiction was video games. Thinking back, I also had even earlier experiences of altering my perception. When I was little, we had a screen door that had a criss-crossing "X" pattern on the lower half. I remember staring at it until my eyes seemed to cross and the pattern became three dimensional. I remember reaching out and trying to touch it it looked so close. This is exactly like the 3-D art poster that were popular in the 1990s that look like a mess of color but change to an image when you stare at them long enough and reach this altered state. People had a hard time seeing them but my experience from childhood made them easy for me. This skill came in handy when I got into video games. When I was a kid, games on Nintendo could not be saved like nowadays and to beat a game you had to play it all the way through perfectly. Most games back then were side-scrollers (Super Mario Brothers is the best example) in which your character moved toward the right of the screen with obstacles and enemies coming from all directions. This meant that you had to be aware of the entire screen and not just focus on your character. I remember times when I'd feel a dreamy state come over my mind. I was "in the zone" and could do no wrong. Everything happened perfectly as long as you kept your mind blank and just flowed. The minute you focused on your success, it was over. I always took note of that. The key to success was to tap in and let it flow. These experiences directly influenced my concept of magic and its inner workings. You can't think too hard about things or they will never happen. You have to create the thought in your mind and then direct your thoughts elsewhere. You must allow that initial idea to grow into its own reality. Everything will happen as it's supposed to if you allow the magic to work of its own accord. It cannot be forced. This notion developed over a long period of time, with the different pieces falling into place as memories and experiences converged.

I consider myself lucky to have learned these skills so early in life. I'm thankful for my drug experimentation for bolstering my understanding of the malleability of perception. You don't have to think like everyone else and you shouldn't. We are all living in the same reality but we're not perceiving the same reality. The key is to keep your mind open and not limit yourself to a reality foisted on you by others. Your reality is your own.

Face Up

Freddy Nieuwendyk was working undercover. His assignment was to bust the jewel-theft ring of Joe Cabot. After the right recommendations, Freddy was selected to work on a job with a six man crew. But first he had to meet Joe and establish his credentials. The undercover team was prepared for this and provided Freddy with a story of a funny incident that happened while he was on another job. He related that he was making a marijuana deal at a train station when he had to take a piss. He walked into the bathroom, with the weed in a hand bag, and there stood a group of cops with a police dog. They weren't there for him, they were just hanging out in the Men's room. So Freddy casually emptied his bladder, washed his hands, and left. Joe was pleased with his actions and how he handled himself.
"You know how to handle that situation - just shit your pants and dive in and swim."
Joe Cabot
Reservoir Dogs, 1992

The words of Joe Cabot always come to mind when I'm going into a situation I'm dreading or when I suddenly find myself in an unexpected situation that could turn out bad if I crack under the pressure. Long before I ever heard these words of wisdom, I used this skill to extricate myself from a sticky situation. During my drug-fueled high school days, I was stopped by a police officer while under the influence. I was walking away from campus during school hours when he rolled up on me. I had drugs on me but I didn't act afraid or nervous, I wasn't doing anything wrong. I had learned years earlier that when you're doing something wrong the last thing you want to do is act like you're doing something wrong. The police officer took my name and address, asked me a few questions which I answered satisfactorily, and told me to get home. I knew how to handle that situation.

Joe Cabot also served me well when I went back to college and had to take a speech class. I hate getting up in front of people and, as strange as it sounds, I was more nervous anticipating taking the stage then when I actually got up there. I needed something to prod me into moving and Joe was there, "Shit your pants and dive in and swim."

It's okay to be afraid, just do what you have to do. We all face situations like this in our lives and it helps to have the reassurance that fear of the unknown is normal. But don't let that stop you from doing what needs to be done. There's no sense in running away, you'll have to face up to it sooner or later, so it's best to face it head on. On your own terms.

Possibilities

I moved to Oregon after high school but only managed to last 2 years before returning to Southern California. Lack of friends, activities, and sunlight drove the decision. It rained 10 months out of the year and that's just torture to a California boy used to seeing the sun almost everyday. Upon my return, my best friend gave me a book to read called Communion by Whitley Strieber. This is a true account of the author's encounter with alien beings. Strieber was already established as a horror fiction writer so many critics doubt the validity of the story told in Communion. I was totally captivated. It read like a horror story, keeping you up all night, but the real goal of the book was to try and understand the relationship between aliens and humans. The aliens are watching over our fragile evolution until we can properly cope with not being the only living thing in the universe. This was appealing to me. I recently unearthed an old piece of writing from high school in which I pontificated on the existence of aliens and their connection to human evolution so the germ of this idea was already in my head when I came into contact with Communion. "There's no God so it's possible that human beings could be a galactic experiment. The universe is so big there must be something out there." Even then I felt arrogant in thinking that human beings were the pinnacle of existence. Maybe at 17 I just wanted to believe something fantastic.

Right around the time I read Communion, my future wife and I visited a library book sale and I put my hand on a ring in the dark. There were tables filled with books and I was scanning titles as only the spines were visible. The first book I selected, based solely on the title without any idea of the subject matter, was Chariots of the Gods by Erich Van Daniken. It is an historical discussion of contact between ancient civilizations and alien beings. This was one of my first noted instances of things happening right when they're supposed to. Why did I choose that book? How was it possible that it matched and enhanced my knowledge of a subject that had already piqued my interest? It was as if something was saying "Here, read this next. It's the next piece of the puzzle." I took the book home and devoured it within days. After that, I was convinced that aliens were real and were just watching and waiting. This was the mid-1990s and alien stories and imagery were everywhere due to the popularity of shows like the X-Files (which I never watched). My belief in alien beings was not based solely on stuff I read in books, I've twice seen some strange things in the sky. In high school, my brother and I were ditching school and getting high in our garage (yes, this was our main activity in high school). The side entrance door was open and as I was staring dazedly out it when an object appeared in my line of sight moving across the sky from left to right. It was a silver ball. The sun shined on it and distinguished the shape. There were no wings, it was a sphere. I ran to the door with my brother in tow and we both stood there staring "What the fuck is that?" It moved off behind some trees and we were left trying to explain what we saw to people who only focused on the fact that we were in an altered state of mind. My second encounter happened while not under the influence and in the presence of my wife who is a more credible witness as she does not imbibe mind altering substances. We were driving at night and saw something in the sky that looked like a blimp wrapped in Christmas lights. I sped up for a better look but it moved away too quickly. I would have been able to catch a blimp so we're still not sure exactly what it was we saw. These events and my readings consumed my thinking and even pervaded my dreams. After I focused my attention on other matters, the dreams faded but every now and again resurfaced so I took to writing them down to avoid forgetting them.

Am I still certain of the existence of aliens? Possibly. What this series of events did for me was to open my mind to the belief that anything is possible. I don't believe anything is certain. If it's real in someone's mind, then it's real to them. My 6 year old recently asked about the existence of Santa Claus and, on a separate occasion, the existence of aliens (he has Lego sets with aliens in them). This is how I responded: Unless you personally experience an event, it is only a story related by another person. Everything is a story. Aliens, Santa Claus, Jesus. Some people choose to believe and some people choose not to believe. YOU get to decide, in your heart and mind, what YOU choose to believe. He looked at me with those eyes wise beyond his years and said "I believe in everything." "So do I" I replied.