Plate of Shrimp

Last time, I mentioned that strange little synchronicities were happening in my life that I could no longer ignore and had to acknowledge. When I was studying religion in college, which was years later, I mentioned these experiences to my favorite professor, and, while not totally discrediting them, he explained that our brains are designed to look for and find patterns. I can understand this but it makes it sound as if I was forcing the patterns rather than just noticing uncanny connections. My experiences usually involved a thought in my head manifesting itself in reality, like my friend finishing a song I was singing in my head. I can see my professor's point in instances of starting to like a song and then hearing it everywhere I go such as on the car radio or in department stores. The song was now in my consciousness so I was able to recognize it. (But for me this leads to the deeper philosophical question of whether the song existed before it entered my consciousness, more on that later.) But my little coincidences had a much greater depth.

For example, in 1989 I saw the early Wayan's brother comedy, I'm Gonna Git You, Sucka! ( I highly recommend it). In the film, a character named Kung-Fu Joe starts whippin' ass and the song "Kung-Fu Fighting" by Carl Douglas plays. I had to get my hands on that song. This was long before the 70s revival of the 1990s and I went on many fruitless searches in every store that sold music. One day, I'm in a Wherehouse and I hear a song playing that I instantly liked, "Magic" by the band Pilot. I rushed to the counter where they had the "Now Playing" display and saw a CD called Super Hits of the 70s: Have a Nice Day Volume 14. I remember thinking "I like this song, but a whole CD of 70s pop? Could it be any good?" I looked at the song list and the number one track was "Kung-Fu Fighting." I bought it immediately. I enjoyed every song on that volume and developed a love for bad 70s pop ballads and novelty songs. I now own almost all of the 24 volume series. It was little incidences like this that began to occur regularly in my life. A minor dalliance leading to a great discovery. Why did I like that song? Why was that CD playing? Why does it have the song I've been scouring music stores for? I had to try to answer these questions.

In the course of preparing this piece, I was reminded of a movie from my youth. We watched Repo Man because the main character was a punk rocker but I was instantly mesmerized by the old burnout, Miller. We used to quote lines from the movie and there was one that I used to love (my brother can attest to it) because I thought it was funny, not because I thought it contained some philosophical truth. To hear it now is kind of scary as it succinctly captures my current life philosophy. Did I unconsciously base my entire way of thinking on this? Like I said, my life is filled with complex synchronicities like a funny teenage obsession turning into the blueprint for a philosophy later in life. Enjoy.

"A lot of people don't realize what's really going on. They view life as a bunch of unconnected incidences and things. They don't realize that there's this like... lattice of coincidence that lays on top of everything. I'll give you an example, show you what I mean. Suppose you're thinking about a plate of shrimp. Suddenly somebody will say like plate...or shrimp...or plate of shrimp. Out of the blue, no explanation. No point in looking for one either. It's all part of a cosmic unconsciousness."
Miller
Repo Man, 1984

P.S. My brother and I to this day still say "shrimp...or plate of shrimp" when an odd coincidence occurs that we both acknowledge.

The Search Begins

After high school, I didn't have much of a plan in terms of a career. I just worked menial jobs, hung out with my friends, and saw my girlfriend on the weekend. Religion/spirituality was the last thing on my mind. I could never be swayed by any established religion because my mind was always asking "Why? By whose authority?" Besides, there were a bunch of different religions that seemed to work for different individuals so how could one be the definitive answer? My philosophy of the world was culled from the books I read, the rare philosophical discussion (usually with my friend, Otto), and my own experiences. I didn't have an answer. All I knew for sure was that I didn't know anything. This led me to conclude that no one else knows anything either. I'm not saying that people don't have knowledge, I'm just saying that no one is 100% "right" in their beliefs. There is no single, universal belief system that some people already possess and eventually the rest of the world will wake up to and fall in line with. I believed in all sorts of contradictory ideas like space aliens creating the human race and the notion that magic is an inherent human quality. This was useful because I could fluctuate between hard science and fantastic magic depending on some new knowledge or experience, or on just how I was feeling on a given day. Christians can do this with the "eye-for-an-eye" God of the Old Testament and the "turn-the-other-cheek" God of the New Testament depending on if they are the one who's angry or if they are giving advice to someone who's angry. After September 11, I was surprised at all the Christians screaming for blood under the "eye-for-an-eye" premise when Jesus would have offered his other cheek after being slapped. Marcion was right when he said the Christian scriptures should not include the Old Testament writings because Jesus had superseded the old Law. Too many contradictions in the current version allow people to pick and choose. One of the perks of being an atheist is that I can hate and wish death upon anyone I want without having the guilt of answering to some higher power. But I digress.

It was around this time that I felt compelled to identify and categorize the strange experiences in my life, which could no longer be ignored, without attributing them to God or the randomness of the universe. I took to describing this supernatural realm as "The Force." As I mentioned, I was obsessed with the original Star Wars and hung on every word of the wisdom of Obi-Wan Kenobi. This was before the transition to DVDs so I had to clock each scene with Obi-Wan in order to fast forward to the crucial parts without missing anything. ( A list of the times is still tucked into my old videocassette.) When Luke meets Obi-Wan and learns about his father, he is confronted with the strange concept of "The Force" and Obi-Wan offers an explanation that I found quite satisfying.

"The Force is what gives a Jedi his power. It's an energy field created by all living things. It surrounds us and penetrates us. It binds the galaxy together."
Obi-Wan Kenobi
Star Wars, 1977

Perfect. I do feel we have power. I do feel we are all connected. This strangeness I'm experiencing can finally be identified. We're all connected by "The Force."

And that was it. I didn't realize it then but it's clear now that this was when I started to really draw upon the pop culture of my youth to formulate a life philosophy and understanding of religion. I didn't go to church and I didn't need to. My answers were right in front of me in the music, movies, and literature I've loved since childhood. There must be some reason for such a strong attachment besides sentimental reasons. The next step, and the biggest, was learning to read and understand these things in a new light.

Connection

It's strange how we connect with people in this life. I met my best friend, Wayne, in 4th grade (1983) and we've been like brothers ever since. There was a set of twins at our elementary school and he was friends with one and I the other so eventually we met. It seems strange now that we hit it off as we did because at that age your either scholastically inclined, physically inclined, or both. I was more scholastic and, lucky for me, he was both. He was always active on the playground in games of kickball and the like which I never really participated in on a regular basis. I used to play on the bars and the rings which weren't so competitive. I think we made a connection because he lived a half a block away and he knew friends of my brothers. I immediately took to him after an incident while walking home from school one day. Near his house, there was a house that had a small hedge with a low brick wall around it. Wayne easily leapt over it and, trying to impress him, I made the jump too. I cleared the hedge but came down on the brick wall and twisted my ankle. I couldn't stand, let alone walk. I hardly knew this kid, how do I ask for help? I didn't have to. He lifted me onto his back and carried me to his house where I called my mom and got a ride home. I'll never forget that, we had only known each other a short time.

After that, we were inseparable. He would come down to my house each morning so my grandma could drive us to school. This was the age when you usually show up at school a half hour early to play on the playground, but we would wait at my house until the last possible minute just hanging out and laughing. His habits at school changed as well and he and I took to walking around the outer edge of the playground just making up funny stuff, doing Mad Libs, making funny shadows, creating a list of X-rated Garbage Pail Kids. I recently reflected on our odd pairing. I was into imaginative play and he was as athletic as the best kids in school. He could have easily gone that route but he chose to hang out with me. He did still participate in some sports, I remember a flag football team that I was "Manager" of so I could be there to support him. Last year I had to ask him "Why did you befriend me?" He answered my strange question with "I don't know. I liked having fun and laughing. I liked being around you and your brothers." (We are quite entertaining.) He fit right in with us. He could even hang with my brothers if I was busy. We rarely got angry with each other and everything we did was to have a good time. We take our friendship for granted sometimes and don't realize that most people in this world never make such a deep connection with another human being that it lasts 25 years. About 4 or 5 years after high school, we went into a store and ran into a guy we knew from elementary school and he couldn't believe it: "You guys are still hanging out together?" Till the end.

I mention all of this because when I started to verbalize my outrageous ideas he was the first one I opened up to and now we have all kinds of odd coincidences occur between us. These new incidents reminded me of the first time I thought we had some kind of connection beyond this reality. After such a strong bond in elementary school, of course we moved onto junior high and faced all those experiences together. We skipped school a lot to hang out in a field and smoke cigarettes (our favorite movies were The Outsiders and Stand By Me) and it wasn't long before we started experimenting with drugs. Talk about just hanging out and laughing. We devoted days, weekends, and summer vacations to getting high and having a good time. There was a local liquor store that was a block away and we used to walk up there to buy candy for when we got the "munchies." We were also getting very interested in Reggae with artists like Peter Tosh and Bob Marley. I recall a very amazing instance in which we were walking home from the liquor store and, while munching away, I had Bob Marley's Redemption Song running through my head. "How long shall they kill our prophets? While we stand aside and look." And out of nowhere, Wayne looks over at me and sings "Yes, some say it's just a part of it, We got to fulfill the book." I was frozen in my tracks. He had followed up what I was thinking with the exact lyrics. He was confused by the look on my face. "What?" "Why did you just say that?" "I don't know, it just popped into my head." I explained my disbelief and we laughed it off as "trippy" which is what you do when your young and high, but I never forgot that. Somehow our minds were connected and this connection would manifest itself more frequently, as I said, after I told him about my ideas of something beyond this reality. I recognize that early incident as a flash of what was to come. Like Luke Skywalker blinding himself with a helmet in his duel with a remote that he could almost see even without the use of his eyes.

"You've taken your first step into a much larger world."
Obi-Wan Kenobi
Star Wars, 1977